Forsaken Talisman Page 9

  So maybe she wasn’t a slut. It had taken a huge amount of internal coaxing to convince herself to reach for his hand. But touching him, or being touched by him made her feel safe and…well…loved, and took her focus off the fact that she had no idea what the past held or what the future would bring. There were so many things about Dusty that drew her to him. His teasing banter, the way his smile lit up his entire face, his strength of presence and the way his eyes seemed to look deeply into her soul. Not to mention the way he looked in that pair of jeans. Yowzers and yum!

  And maybe self-consciously she had wanted to touch his coc—okay, scratch that, she definitely wasn’t a slut. She couldn’t even say cock-a-doodle-doo in her own mind! But she had noticed his very nice, very large, very hot, very scrumptious penis in the half second she’d touched it before she’d turned into a coward and pulled away.

  But was it possible to climax just because a guy was holding your hand? Liquid heat trailed a fire of sensation from the hand he cradled, up her arm and throughout her entire body. Even her smelly toes were curling at the base of the bed. What would happen if he held her in his arms or threw himself over her again? Her whole body quivered at that thought.

  She was pathetic. Nothing was going to happen. She just had to get over him.

  Dusty’s thumb rubbed circles into the palm of her hand and Skylar began quivering all over again. If she wasn’t careful she was going to cause an earthquake.

  She was supremely pathetic.

  Dusty cleared his throat and shifted in the bed. Was she making him uncomfortable? Before she could ask, he spoke. “So, ummm…you don’t have any of your own memories of before you got to Talisman Bay except that your name is Skylar?”

  She frowned, concentrating. Her headache was mostly gone, but she still couldn’t remember anything beyond her name. “Not a one.”

  “Not even your favorite color?”

  “No, not even that.”

  “Well, if you had to choose a favorite color right now, what would you choose?”

  “What would I choose? I don’t know. Ummm…puce, maybe?” She laughed.

  Dusty squeezed her hand. “Hey! I’m being serious now. C’mon. What color?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe blue?”

  “Yeah, I kinda thought that about you. It fits.”

  “What, I look blue?” she teased.

  She could hear the smile in his voice. “No, blue is just a calm kind of color…like a river, or the ocean. And your eyes are blue…”

  Her heart fluttered. She was so damn pathetic. Dusty wasn’t even poeticizing her eyes. He’d only made a statement of fact. She had to stop making more out of everything he said and did. “Okay, so what about you? What’s your favorite color?”

  “Me?”

  “Yes, if we’re asking questions…” Can I see you naked? Stop! Stop! Stop!

  “I like plaid.”

  His answer caught her off-guard and Skylar snorted out a laugh before slapping a hand down over her mouth in embarrassment. Great. What a way to turn him on, sounding like a rutting pig. Plus she had the smell to go with it. Just wonderful. Trying to detract from her barnyard animal sounds and odor before he noticed, she asked, “So, what’s with all the questions? Did you start a game of twenty questions without me realizing it?”

  “I’m just trying to jog your memory.” He paused. “How do you feel about Talisman Bay? It’s got some of the nicest beaches in California.”

  “I love the beach.”

  Dusty enthusiastically squeezed her hand. “You do?! That’s great! I mean, that’s good you know you love the beach. See, you’re in there somewhere…you just don’t remember where.”

  “Wow…I do know that. It’s strange, I think of the beach and I feel warm and happy inside…a good memory. I don’t know why I like it. But I do.”

  Dusty’s enthusiasm was contagious. It was only a simple memory—well, not even really a memory, more just unexplained knowledge—but it meant so much more than that. It was part of who she was. Unable to stop her increasing joy from bubbling over, she laughed.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “Nothing, really. I’m just…” enjoying this time with you more than I should.

  Like a little kid demanding an answer, he tugged on her hand. “Oh, come on. What?”

  A warm blush crept over her face. What could she say to him? “Just…oh God…I’m going to sound stupid.”

  “No. What is it? You won’t sound stupid.” There was both honesty and laughter in his voice.

  She took a deep breath and squeezed her eyes tightly shut as if she could hide herself from the impending embarrassment. “I like the way you talk. The things you say. They’re sweet and cute and…” Her voice lowered to a whisper. “You make me feel okay inside.”

  “Really? I do that to you?” Was he genuinely surprised? He paused for a deafening moment. “Well, the feeling’s mutual, y’know.”

  In for a penny, in for a pound. “You’re the only person I know I can trust and I know you’d never hurt me. You know as much about me as I do. Heck, I know you better than I know myself.”

  “Wow, yeah. Hell, that’s probably a good thing right about now. See, you know what I can do. And I can do just about anything if you need me to. You can trust me completely. Even with—” He interrupted himself as though searching for better words. “Well, you’re definitely safe with me. I promise.” Dusty chuckled, but it sounded nervous. “Hey, are you cold at all? Do you need another blanket or something?”

  I need you… “No. I’m fine for now.”

  “See, you know all sorts of stuff about yourself. You’ve been holding out on me,” he teased.

  “I know stuff about me in a vague, nonsensical way.”

  “Yeah, but that’s what makes you who you are, whether or not stuff makes sense, it’s still you.”

  Skylar laughed. “Are you saying I’m vague and nonsensical?”

  “Isn’t everyone?”

  “Good point. If I knew who I was, I think I’d tell you. So I guess add honest to the list of stuff we know about me.”

  “Oh, believe me, I’ve been taking good mental notes on everything about you. Stuff you figure out. Stuff I figure out. Y’know, you can tell me absolutely anything.” As if to reassure her, he stroked the inside of her wrist. That simple touch seeped into her bloodstream, traveled throughout her body, until it became a warm throb beating in her breasts and…nether regions. She squirmed in the bed, trying to relieve the aching need that was building inside.

  “You okay?”

  “Uh…yeah…just fine. Trying to get comfortable.” She wracked her brain to think of something to say, something lighthearted, funny, something to take her mind off of how much she liked being around Dusty. “So, I can tell you anything about me I remember?”

  “Of course.”

  “Well, what if I’m a mass murderer, or a lawyer, or a nymphomaniac…” Darn it! Why’d she have to go and mention something sexual? “I might not want to tell you that.”

  He chuckled. “Hmmm…so you wouldn’t want to tell me you’re a nymphomaniac? Somehow, I doubt you are. Mass murderer…nope you don’t seem psychotic. Lawyer…you’re not devious enough.”

  “Wait a second…” Not giving herself a chance to think better of it, she sat up and peered over the pillow barrier. Giving her a surprised and questioning look, he quickly bent his knees. But not before Skylar saw what he was trying to hide. His penis strained the front of his jeans. She wished she had the courage to reach out and cup it again, but instead she returned his look with a not-so-innocent grin. “So you’re telling me that I don’t look like a sexual deviant?”

  A mischievous smile grew wide across his face, and those gorgeous eyes of his sparkled. “Well, definitely not a deviant…” He swallowed. “Hey, you’re trying to get me in trouble now, aren’t you?”

  She tried to keep up the not-so-innocent act, but a telltale burn lit up her cheeks. “Who? Me?”

  “You’re
trying to bait me into saying stuff that would get me slapped.”

  “I’m the passive, non-deviant, non-sexual person. How could I get you in trouble?”

  His eyes still sparked with laughter, but there was something more there…something deeper. “I didn’t say anything at all about you being non-sexual. Hell, no. You are very far from non-sexual.”

  “Oh.”

  “Well, yeah. Okay…” He swallowed hard. “Ummm…I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to you. And I don’t wanna lie so I just won’t say anything.”

  Had he just said he was attracted to her? She rewound the statement in her head. Yes, he had. She nervously licked her lips and then realized what she was doing when his attention shifted to her mouth. Oh wow…was that longing in his gaze? Or was that just a reflection of her feelings? Unconsciously, she lifted her hand from his and wiped it over her mouth, transferring the heat of his touch to her lips, wondering what it would feel like if he kissed her.

  Dusty frowned and redirected his stare to the ceiling, crossing his arms over his chest with a sigh. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”

  “What? You didn’t make me feel uncomfortable.”

  One corner of his mouth tilted up in a half grin. “Well, here we are laying in bed for goodness sake. The last thing I’d want to do is make you feel uncomfortable in bed with me.” He grimaced. “I’m sorry. That came out wrong. I just don’t want you to ever feel uncomfortable with me…even though we happen to be in a bed. Shit.” He wiped his hands over his face, then crossed his arms over his chest again.

  “I don’t. I didn’t. You’re really bothered by this bed thing.”

  A big sigh of relief escaped his lips then his eyes widened and he turned to look at her. “No…are you!? I’m not bothered by being in a bed with you at all.”

  “Then why did you think I was uncomfortable with you?”

  “Well, because of the way I said it. I didn’t mean to imply that anything would happen between us if we were in a bed. But if it did…I mean…oh hell, I’m just gonna shut up now.” He looked up again and sighed, one hand tangling in his hair.

  “But something is happening between us in the bed.”

  He cleared his throat. “Ummm…yeah, we’re…uh…t-talking and stuff.” His jaw clenched.

  “Well, what else could we do in a bed?” she bantered. He was cute when he was nervous, unable to look at her for more than a moment without getting flustered and turning away again. She knew she should stop teasing him, but for some reason, she just couldn’t stop herself.

  “Well, shit, I know I can think of all sorts of things. Can’t you?” First his eyes found hers, then his head followed. A sexy grin slowly crept over his face and his eyes sparkled.

  Skylar couldn’t help but return his grin. “Sleeping. Definitely sleeping. But I’m not tired.”

  He cleared his throat, but his words still came out hoarse. “Me neither.”

  “Okay. Good.”

  His fingers drummed the sheet next to him as he looked back up toward the rock ceiling. “Yeah. In a bed…yeah…here with you in a bed…yeah…”

  “Yes, Dusty. Bed.” She began bouncing up and down on said bed, hoping to bring back his grin. “Bed. Bed. Bed. Bed. Bed. Me and Dusty in bed. Together.” And at that exact moment, as she bounced up and down on the bed anxious for Dusty’s reaction, Skylar recognized the signs. She was totally falling in love with this man. Irrationally, inexplicably, and so unbelievably right. Dusty made her otherwise insane and scary world an okay place to be. Four hours ago, she’d been held hostage by a madman and her own mind. Now she was happily bouncing up and down on a bed alongside a sweet, cute and loving man who completely dissolved every ounce of her helplessness.

  Dusty chuckled. “Yeah…I like the sound of that. T-together…uh-huh.” He nodded and swallowed hard. “This is…this is really…”

  “What?”

  “I don’t think I’ve ever talked this much with a woman while in bed…in a bed with her.” His breath was quick and he tightened his jaw as though to keep from saying anything more.

  “You don’t usually talk when you’re in bed with a girl?”

  Dusty shook his head and locked his gaze with hers. “They don’t usually want to talk when they’re in bed with me, they just want me to get down to business. Wham-bam. They never wanted me to use my mouth for anything other than fucking.”

  “Well, you must not have cared either if you were there.”

  “I guess not. Wow! I’m learning as much about myself as I am about you. Here in bed.”

  They were both quiet for several moments, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence. Skylar pulled her legs up against her chest and rested her chin on her knees. “Have you ever been in love?” she asked.

  He didn’t answer right away. Skylar watched him, enjoying the play of firelight across his skin. She hoped she hadn’t opened up a bad memory for him. Then a smile crept across his face and he began to speak. “Just once. A long time ago. A cute little firecracker of a redhead named Tracey. But then my love affair ended when she decided she’d rather play hopscotch with Phillip Stedman.” Dusty snorted. “Damn. I guess I really have had girl trouble ever since that brush off in first grade.”

  Skylar couldn’t help but laugh. “Sorry she broke your heart. Silly girl. If only she could see you now, she’d be smacking herself for her hopscotch betrayal.”

  He shook his head and smiled but didn’t say anything.

  “Do you think I’ll ever get my memory back?”

  “I hope so. I know I don’t ever want to forget this.”

  “Me either.” They shared a smile and she wished she could reach out and take his hand again. “It’s strange, I don’t even know what it’s liked to be kissed…except by David.”

  “I’ve always hoped that when I kissed a girl, her knees got weak. I don’t think that ever really happens though.”

  Skylar closed her eyes and imagined being kissed by Dusty, and oh how her knees got weak. Her breasts ached and her whole body throbbed in want of that kiss. She opened her eyes, trying to move past her desires as she spoke. “It would be nice to be that caught up in a kiss. To be so intent on a person that nothing else matters.”

  Dusty nodded. “Yeah, and you find yourself in a world where only you and the girl exists and that’s it. Everything belongs only to the two of you. God, what I want is a woman I can kiss and just connect to on every level. A woman I can have and hold and kiss and caress for hours so that by the time we’re ready for me to slide in, we’re so hot for each other I can be a one-stroke wonder and it doesn’t even matter because we’re in our own world and everything in it is beautiful. Damn…I can’t believe you got me talking about all this stuff so easily.”

  “Dusty…”

  “Yeah?”

  Could she tell him that she was burning up inside for want of him? That her skin felt too tight for her body and she ached for his soothing touch? She wanted to, but the words stayed locked inside.

  “Aw shit, Skylar, did I say something wrong? You got me going and I just started telling you my deep dark secrets and stuff you probably don’t even care about. I’m sorry.”

  Like a volcano, blistering heat bubbled up inside of her, and the words erupted from her soul. “You didn’t say anything wrong. Dusty…what you said you want. It’s beautiful. God, I want that too.” The words froze in her throat, but she forced herself to keep going. “But I know almost nothing about myself. If I were to walk out of here, I have nowhere to go. Nowhere. Nothing exists outside of this bed for me. You are all I have and I can’t put that on you.”

  “Y’know, right now, nothing exists for me outside of this bed, either. And I want to be here with you. I like the way you think. The way your mind works is fascinating. The way your body works is fascinating. Skylar, I find you incredibly fascinating in every sense of the word. But I can’t put that on you…or can I? Can I tell you that you are my world right now? Is that gonna
scare the shit out of you?”

  “It doesn’t scare me. Except that you have a tomorrow and a next day.”

  “So do you.”

  Skylar shook her head, the words all tangled up inside. “I’m sorry. This isn’t coming out right.” Taking a deep breath, she opened her heart completely. “Tomorrow doesn’t exist without you.”

  “But I will be here tomorrow…and the next day…whenever you need me.” He reached over the pillows and laid his hand on hers. Their gazes met and held. By the look in his eyes, she knew that he spoke the utter truth and that even if the world were crumbling around her, he’d be there when the sun came up.

  “Will you?” She placed her free hand over his, wanting to keep him with her forever.

  “Yes. I promise you I will be here. No matter what. I couldn’t leave now even if I wanted to.” He smiled, shook his head, and let out a quiet chuckle. “You’re driving me crazy.”

  “Crazy, good? Or crazy, bad?” Her heart seemed to pause in her chest as she waited for his answer. Little did he know, he was driving her crazy, too.

  “I’m laying here next to you and all I can think about is loving you.” He took a shaky breath as his fingers stroked hers. “I mean, I wanna caress your entire body with my hands and then follow that up with my tongue. And I want to take my time. I want to know every inch of you inside and out. I want to press your body against mine and share your heat. I wanna kiss you and show you without all these damn words, how I feel about you…take you into my arms and hold you so tight you…you…you…”

  His words had mesmerized her, pulling her closer to him until she was leaning over the pillows. Her question was whispered into the few inches of air separating their faces. “So tight I what?”

  As though continuing her same breath, Dusty huskily replied, “So tight you don’t want me to let you go.”

  Skylar closed the remaining distance between them, breathing her words into his mouth as she placed her lips over his. “I don’t want you to let me go.”

  Dusty began to drink of her with a vehement thirst, one arm encircling her, pulling her completely over the pillow barrier until she rested solidly against his naked chest. His other hand gently cradled her cheek, drawing her mouth closer as his lips parted and begged hers to follow, as his tongue licked the seam of her lips until she opened wide enough to receive him.